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"What Not To Name Your Dog"

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Roger" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal, but he caused me a great deal of embarrassment when I went to City Hall to renew his dog license. I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too!". Then I said, "But this is a dog". He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old". He winked and said "You must have been quite a kid".

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took Sex with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do". I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem".

One day I entered in Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand", I replied, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV". He said " Now since that cable is all over the place, it is no big deal anymore".

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case please". Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too".

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked "What are you doing in this alley at three o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

If you have a pet-oriented joke or funny story to share, please send it to us! We will be adding to this section to share with our readers the humor and joy that our pets can bring to us.

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